


Most Improved

by GremlinSR



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - I do what I want, Fluff and Humor, Idiots in Love, Kid Fic, M/M, Madara has no game, Smut, Uchiha Izuna Lives, awkward marriage proposals, hashirama is a dork
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-11 13:16:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13525065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GremlinSR/pseuds/GremlinSR
Summary: If Tobirama had been born with ovaries, he was pretty sure they would have just exploded.





	Most Improved

Tobirama tapped his fingers on the table, annoyed. This wasn't exactly a strange state to find him in during the village's monthly budget meetings, which were always long and arduous, so nobody even flinched at his stony expression or impatient tapping.

Between Inuzuka Fume and Nara Shikari bickering over whose clan should get such and such medical funding, the Sarutobi clan head stopping to clarify points that nobody needed fucking clarification on, and - Tobirama's personal favorite - Madara's inevitable loss of temper at either Hashirama, Tobirama, or both, he was frankly impressed that they ever got any budgeting done at all.

This month's meeting felt particularly egregious, though Tobirama knew it had more to do with his terrible mood going into it than the people around him. His lover of six months had moved out that morning, citing that he couldn't live with Tobirama's 'emotional unavailability' anymore. He had been a  _Hyuuga,_ for Sage's sake.

It's not like they were known for their effusive warmth and emotional declarations. Half the reason Tobirama had even decided to date Sora was that he figured if anybody could understand duty and a certain reticence in showing emotion, it would be somebody from that clan.

Tobirama rubbed at his temples when he remembered the way Sora had looked at him before he left, as though waiting for him to ask him to stay. Before he could help himself he scoffed. Please, like he was going to beg somebody to stay with him. Tobirama was not pathetic, even if he was pretty sure at this point that he'd never have the happy little family that his older brother did.

"You disagree with something I said, Senju?" A bristling Uchiha pulled his attention from his internal thoughts and he almost groaned when he realized that Madara thought his derisive noise was in response to whatever he was grumping about. "You don't think Uchiha children deserve an education?"

Tobirama stared at him, keeping his expression neutral as his brain struggled to catch up.  _This is probably about funding the Uchiha-only school people have been pushing for,_ he thought to himself.

"I just don't see why they can't attend the same academy as all the other clan children," he replied in a cool tone.

Madara narrowed his eyes and Tobirama felt his mood lifting a bit at the inevitable confrontation to come. "Maybe because over half the instructors are Senju who wouldn't show the Uchiha children the same consideration and care as children from other clans."

Tobirama's back stiffened at the implication that his clan members wouldn't be impartial when teaching the younger generation. His voice was steady when he spoke, though. "Really, because it seems as though you're just trying to get extra resources funneled to your clan."

Madara stood and his ridiculous side bangs parted so that both of his eyes were visible, glinting with rage. "You  _dare -"_

"Aha, well, I think that's enough for today!" Hashirama said, standing and slinging an arm around Madara's shoulders. "We'll continue this discussion at a later date."

Madara slowly turned his glare towards Hashirama, who slumped into a gloomy countenance. Everybody stood quickly so they could escape before they could get pulled into the ridiculousness that was Madara and his brother. Tobirama rolled his eyes and began gathering the scrolls he'd brought with him.

As he turned to leave he heard Hashirama say in his most pitiful voice, "Madara, I just thought you'd want to head back to Hanako and Haruki soon, don't give me that look, so mean..."

Tobirama wondered fleetingly who Hanako and Haruki were - he'd certainly never heard of them and he made it a point to know who all the Uchiha shinobi were - but then he was distracted by three blurs coming to a wobbling, screeching halt in front of him.

"Tobirama-sensei!" Hiruzen said in a slightly lisping voice due to the front teeth he'd recently lost. "Hi! We were waiting for you, we thought that you might want to -"

"To train with us!" Homura finished and Tobirama's lip twitched as three wide, hopeful eyes stared up at him.

"I suppose I have an hour or so to spare," he said, spirits raising a bit more.

After he was done with his three students he headed back to his house, sighing when he saw his brother sitting on his front porch reading through a scroll and humming to himself.

"Hashirama," he said, preparing himself for what he liked to call the  _Give Madara a Chance_ speech, repeated at least once per week and always with great passion.

"Brother!" he said, standing so quickly that he tripped over his own robes and fell over, landing on his face. Tobirama pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, stepping over the flailing body of his Hokage and sibling before taking the steps up to his door. By the time he disabled his traps, Hashirama had recovered and he followed him into the house without invitation.

"Hashirama, if this is about Madara, spare me the lecture -"

"Tobi," he said and the tone of his voice pulled his attention to his brother's now-serious face. "I know that you and Madara don't get along, but I'm asking you to give him a break for a few weeks. You know that he's taken on a lot and -"

Tobirama scoffed. "Oh, please, like he has any more work than the rest of us." He began preparing tea and waited for Hashirama's affronted defense of his best friend. When it didn't come, he looked over and saw that Hashirama was giving him a narrow-eyed look.

"You don't know," he said slowly. "You haven't heard. That's - but you always know everything!"

Tobirama sighed. "Brother, I don't have time for twenty questions. Tell me what it is I apparently don't know that has poor Madara in such a  _sensitive state."_

"Tobi - the Uchiha kunoichi that died six weeks ago. She had two children, a two-year-old and a five-year-old. She was one of Madara's close friends. He's taken her children in."

That got his attention and he spun and looked at his brother. "Madara? Raising two children?" he said in a voice that conveyed his complete disbelief.

Hashirama nodded. "Yes. He refused to let anybody else do it. Izuna is helping where he can, but, well, he's not exactly the nurturing type," he said with a grimace. "Of course Mito and I are also -"

"You cannot be serious," Tobirama cut in, gaping at his brother. "You're letting Madara - unhinged, bloodthirsty Madara - care for two small children? What are you  _thinking?!"_

Hashirama managed to look disapproving and proud all at once. "Ha! I knew you cared about all Konoha children no matter their clan!" Tobirama glared, insulted. Of  _course,_ he cared about the Uchiha children. He wasn't a monster.

"But," and there was the gloomy face, "I can't believe you'd think so lowly of Madara. If you would just give him a chance you would see that underneath all that bluster -"

"You mean all that crazy," Tobirama muttered, grabbing his tea and sitting down at his table, settling in for the long haul as the  _Just Give Madara a Chance_ speech that he'd been expecting began.

Hashirama ignored his interruption and continued extolling on Madara's many virtues, apparently not caring that Tobirama's eyes had glazed over as he mentally went over the zoning plans for the Academy.

"- and hey, where's Sora?"

Tobirama was jolted back to the present by the question. He sighed and looked away from Hashirama, taking a sip of tea and trying his best to look as if he hadn't just been dumped that morning. After a moment of silence, Hashirama sighed.

"Ah. I see." Tobirama pursed his lips. "Well, I never thought he was good enough for you anyway!"

Tobirama glanced over at his brother, who was smiling at him in that soft way that always eased his heart. He grunted in response and Hashirama responded by dragging him out of the house and across the road to his own home, insisting that he eat with them that night. He had to admit, an evening of playing with his adorable nephew went a long way towards curing him of his remaining melancholy.

000

Three weeks later Tobirama was walking through the market on his way to get tea from his favorite shop when he was brought up short. There, not ten feet from him, was Uchiha Madara, wearing his usual superior expression as he walked purposefully through the crowded streets.

The part that had caused Tobirama to stop and stare was the toddler perched on his shoulders, gripping his hair and squealing with apparent delight from her high vantage point. She was gripping. His hair.

Making the whole scene even more surreal was a small boy of probably about five or six holding Madara's hand and chattering up at him. Both children had obvious Uchiha features - dark, feathery hair, black eyes, and pale skin. Their round little faces were cherubic and Tobirama realized these must be Madara's two new wards. He had expected them to be more terrified and gaunt and basically tortured-looking after almost three months in Madara's care but instead, they looked...healthy and happy.

Tobirama attempted a discrete  _kai._ Nothing changed.

He blinked rapidly as they stopped at a booth selling dango and Madara bought a stick for each of them. Of course, the toddler immediately dropped one of the round sticky treats and it hit Madara's hair. It stuck there for a moment before it slowly slid down and plopped onto the end of his nose before meeting its inevitable end on the ground. Madara stopped and looked down at the mass of sugar and dough at his feet with an unreadable expression. The toddler began to cry at the sight of her now-ruined treat. Tobirama prepared himself to save the girl from a fiery death.

Instead, Madara grinned, the expression strange on his face. Tobirama had only ever seen him look dangerous and angry, his smiles only coming out when he thought he got one over on somebody or when he knew he'd beaten an enemy and they just hadn't realized it yet. This one was soft and honestly amused and he reached up and pulled the girl off his shoulders and onto his hip, leaning over and whispering something into her ear that immediately calmed her down.

He then went back to the stall owner and bought another stick of dango. He traded the one with only two balls left on it for the fresh, three-balls-full stick and tossed the apparently no-longer-good-enough-for-an-Uchiha two-baller in a trash receptacle.

The girl beamed at him and Madara gave a charming half-smile back, seemingly unconcerned with the sticky substance that was now in his hair and on his nose.

If Tobirama had been born with ovaries, he was pretty sure they would have just exploded. As it was, his heart gave a familiar thump and his stomach tightened and  _dear gods he had to get out of there._

He teleported to his house and proceeded to have a mental breakdown. He had just had a moment where he thought that Uchiha Madara was attractive.  _He,_ for a moment in time, had thought  _Uchiha Madara_ was attractive. He wanted to bleach his brain. Maybe he could get a Yamanaka to erase the memories.

 _Alright,_ he thought to himself.  _Calm down._

This was a fluke, born of the shock of seeing that Madara was bafflingly good with children. He'd always had a weakness for men who liked children - it was what had drawn him to Sora in the first place. He was in charge of the Hyuuga children's education as a branch member of some talent and Tobirama had first become interested in him after witnessing him giving a lesson in the park one day on how trees grew.

Next time he'd be prepared instead of being taken off guard. It wasn't like he'd have a chance to see Madara interacting with his wards again anytime soon. Right. Everything was fine, he had this under control. It was only later when he reached for a mug that wasn't there that he realized he'd forgotten to buy his tea.

000

Three days later Hashirama woke him in the middle of the night. "Brother, we have a situation." Tobirama was already up and reaching for his armor.

"No, no, you won't need that. Take us to the Uchiha compound."

Tobirama knew better than to argue when Hashirama used his Hokage Voice and pulled on his mesh shirt and blue yukata. He then grabbed his brother's hand and teleported them to the marker he had put down outside the compound. The guards let them through the gates when they saw it was Hashirama and they walked quickly into the Uchiha district.

"Brother, what -"

"Not here," he said and Tobirama understood that he didn't want to talk about it in the open.

They walked the rest of the way to Uchiha Madara's wide, sprawling house, crossing the large front lawn with its rock gardens and koi ponds and jogging up the steps to the door. Before they could knock, a sleep-rumpled Madara was opening the door.

"Keep it down," he grumbled and waved them inside. "Kids are asleep."

Tobirama rolled his eyes as Hashirama exaggerated his walk with big, slow steps, keeping his weight on his toes and holding his arms up and out to the side slightly. Apparently, he'd had a few run-ins with Mito after waking their son. Out of the corner of his vision, he saw Madara making the same expression. It was disconcerting to have the same reaction to something as Madara. He blamed his brother.

Hashirama waited until they were in the kitchen to speak. "I just received a message from Kumo. They've captured Team Five and are demanding that Madara and myself meet with them to negotiate for their release."

Tobirama sucked in a breath. Team Five was a fairly new genin team and Nara Shikari's favorite cousin was their jounin sensei. He was also fairly certain that there was a main branch Hyuuga on that team.

"We're leaving immediately, go get dressed," Hashirama finished, eyes on Madara.

"Hashirama, I have children now, I can't just leave without finding them care," Madara hissed.

"Well, why do you think I brought Tobirama? He'll watch them," he said dismissively. Both men gaped at him and Tobirama resisted the urge to strangle his brother. He'd woken him up in the middle of the night to  _babysit?_

"You want me to leave my children with Senju Tobirama," Madara deadpanned. "Maybe you haven't realized, but I  _am_ actually fond of them and would like to see them again."

Tobirama bristled, insulted at the intimation that he would allow anything to happen to any child, ever. Hashirama beat him to the punch by slumping over into gloominess.

"You don't trust my brother to watch your children, Madara? I guess our friendship isn't as strong as I assumed if you think I would disregard your children's welfare so easily," he said melodramatically.

Madara sighed and looked up at the ceiling. Tobirama would have liked to put in a few pointed comments of his own, but there were four Konoha shinobi - three of them practically children themselves - in peril.

"Madara. I'm good with children. I watch kids from multiple clans frequently. I swear on my honor as a shinobi that no harm, physical or otherwise, will come to them while they are with me."

He met his gaze calmly and after a moment, to his surprise, Madara nodded. "Alright. Give me two minutes."

He disappeared in a whoosh of air that sent Hashirama's hair flying back. Tobirama blinked at where he'd been standing in shock. That was...not what he'd expected. He had thought Madara would make a big deal about how he didn't  _have_ any honor.

Madara gave him a steady look when he entered the living room exactly two minutes later. "Tobirama. I expect you to keep your promise."

He simply inclined his head and then Madara and Hashirama were gone in a swirl of leaves. Tobirama wondered how he had gone from slaughtering Uchiha to babysitting their children. That's right - Hashirama. It was always Hashirama.

Tobirama was in the kitchen making pancakes about half an hour after the sun rose when the two children padded into the room. The boy was holding onto the little girl's hand and they were both still in pajamas, hair messy and eyes sleepy. They stopped when they saw him standing in the kitchen and eyed him warily.

"Who are you?" The little boy asked with forced bluster, stepping in front of his sister.

Tobirama couldn't help but think that the bravery was adorable. He set down the bowl of pancake batter and turned to face them, crouching down on his heels so he wasn't towering over them.

"Hello. My name is Senju Tobirama. I'm afraid my brother needed your guardian's assistance on a mission and they asked me to take care of you while they're gone."

The boy's eyes widened. "The Hokage's brother?"

Tobirama inclined his head. The little girl peeked out from behind her brother for a moment, then squealed and disappeared back behind him when she saw that Tobirama's attention was on her. He chuckled and stood.

"Do you like pancakes?"

The boy nodded a little shyly and tugged his sister in to sit at the table. Tobirama turned back to his task of making breakfast. "I'm afraid Madara didn't have time to give me your names," he said casually, though inwardly he winced - he should know the names of one of the founding members of Konoha's wards.

"I'm Uchiha Haruki and this is my sister Uchiha Hanako. It's an honor to meet you Tobirama-sama," Haruki said in as formal a voice as a five-year-old could manage.

"I'm two!" Hanako added and Tobirama's lips twitched while he poured batter into the warm, buttered pan.

"Two is a good age," he said solemnly, glancing over and taking in the beaming, round-faced girl. Her pajamas had little butterflies on them. Haruki's were blue with a large shuriken on the front. Both were the type with little footies attached to the pants and Tobirama suddenly had an image of Uchiha Madara scowling as he shopped for footie pajamas. It was disturbing and weirdly appealing at the same time.

They had just sat down to eat when there was a knock on the door. It opened before Tobirama could say anything, but as he'd sensed Izuna coming and recognized his chakra he didn't bother standing. Izuna entered the kitchen and stopped for a moment to take in the domestic scene featuring Senju Tobirama and two Uchiha children.

"Uh. Tobirama-san. You're here. Making pancakes," he said and Tobirama resisted the urge to sigh.

"As always, your observational skills are astounding," he drawled and Izuna stiffened.

"Hi Izuna-ojisan," Haruki said. "Tobirama-sama made lots of pancakes. Do you want some? They're yummy. Madara-ojisama asked him to babysit us today," he finished a little proudly.

Izuna deflated and angrily went about serving himself a plate of pancakes. "I got a missive this morning from your brother saying that you and I are jointly responsible for the continued survival of both Konoha and my brother's children." He shoved a bite of pancakes in his mouth and his eyes widened in surprise.

"These are good," he said a little suspiciously after he'd swallowed, eyeing the pancakes as though they'd personally offended him.

"I'm one of the strongest shinobi of my generation, known for my mastery of all the elemental release types and scientific mind. It would be pretty ridiculous if I couldn't handle the simple task of making breakfast," Tobirama intoned. Izuna glared. But he still took another bite.

After Tobirama had almost killed him - and then saved him from his own deathblow using the mystical palm technique he had created - their relationship had been odd. Izuna was pissed off that he'd bested him and grudgingly grateful that he'd then saved him. They both knew Izuna wouldn't have bothered if their roles were reversed - but then Izuna's brother wasn't Senju Hashirama.

They ate in silence for a few uncomfortable minutes, Haruki's eyes darting between the two adults, probably sensing that they weren't the best of friends. Hanako babbled mostly-nonsensical things at the two men, spending five minutes describing the butterflies on her own pajamas. Izuna stared at her as though she were some strange, unidentified creature that he wasn't sure how to approach. Tobirama just nodded solemnly along with her, only stopping to note that he, himself, preferred the blue butterfly that resided on her left bicep. Hanako beamed. Izuna gaped.

Finally, Izuna cleared his throat. "Right. Well, I have some meetings set up to discuss some joint training between clans today. I'm not sure I can reschedule..."

Tobirama waved him off. "It's fine, all of the work I had planned for the day can be done from my home. You take care of the village today and I'll bring Hanako and Haruki with me to the Senju compound. Here," he reached into the pouch at his thigh and took out a kunai, not needing to explain how it worked after years of working together in proximity. "For if something comes up," he said.

Izuna stared down at it, bemused. "Okay then," he said, having most likely expected more of a fight over who got to be the day's babysitter and who got to be the important Hokage stand-in.

"Tomorrow afternoon I have some meetings I won't be able to skip, so if brother and Madara haven't returned -" he started, standing and collecting the empty plates around him.

"I can take them tomorrow afternoon. In the morning I have this thing with the Inuzuka..." Tobirama shrugged.

"It will put me behind on some of my work, but it can't be helped. I will watch them in the morning as well."

A few minutes later a shell-shocked Izuna wandered out of the house as Tobirama helped the two children get dressed for the day. He hid his smile at Izuna's obvious flat-footedness and tickled Hanako's belly before helping her pull on a tiny yukata with the Uchiha symbol on the back, making her giggle.

Haruki was excited to be going to the Senju district, steps light as he shyly asked questions about whether Tobirama could  _really_ make a wall of water so strong that it could block Earth Bullets, and did he  _really_ have mastery over all the elements? Did he think he could beat Izuma in a fight? Did he think he could beat  _Madara_ in a fight?

When they got to the Senju compound, however, Haruki's questions tapered off. Tobirama frowned when he noticed the distrustful glances the children were getting from a few of his clan members. Hanako started to fuss and Tobirama reached down and picked her up, putting her on his hip. He then made a sign with one hand, pulling a stream of water from a nearby koi pond and sending it into a complex pattern of loops and curls around the two children, effectively distracting them from the few hostile looks around them.

Tobirama, knew, of course, that there were still some tensions between the Senju and Uchiha - it would be naive to assume otherwise. What he hadn't expected, however, was for that dislike to be directed onto the children of the clans. Wasn't the whole point of coming together to end the warring eras to protect the lives of the next generation? Were the adults of his clan really so embittered that they would look upon children with distrust?

He was pulled from his dark thoughts when Toka appeared before him.

"Cousin, it looks like you've brought something home that doesn't belong to you," she said, but her voice was warm.

Tobirama let out a small sigh of relief. Of course, there were some in his clan who could not see past their hatred, but they were few and far in between. Most, he knew, would be like Toka. "Haruki, Hanako, this is my cousin, Toka. Toka, these are Madara's wards. Hashirama asked Izuna and me to watch over them while he and Madara take care of a situation."

Toka's face sobered even as she reached out to swirl her finger through the water that was still twisting in patterns in the air, casting a small genjutsu that made it appear to burst into a flock of small finches made of water that flew around Hanako and then Haruki, causing Hanako to giggle and clap and Haruki to stare up at Toka in blatant awe.

"Ah, I heard about that. I hope they're successful in retrieving the team."

"They will be," Tobirama said with complete confidence. There just wasn't much the two of them couldn't accomplish when they did it together.

Toka nodded. "You're probably right. Anyway, I was wondering if there was anything specific you wanted me to bring up in the meeting today - the one to come up with a plan for inter-clan training sessions?"

Tobirama shook his head, adjusting his grip on Hanako when she suddenly lurched forward to grab at one of the fluttering water birds.

"I believe you know my thoughts on it already."

"Alright, I'll see you later then. Bye, Hanako, bye Haruki."

With one last wave, she disappeared in a swirl of colorful finches, causing the children to gasp in delight. Tobirama rolled his eyes. Show-off.

They ended up staying outside for most of the morning, Hanako and Haruki exploring the gardens and koi ponds in the front yard while Tobirama worked on the porch, keeping a close eye on them lest they fall into the water. At around eleven, a group of Senju children caught sight of him and darted to stand at the bottom of his steps.

"Tobirama-sama!" one of them, a boy of about seven named Ruko, called. "Can - can you make us a water ball to play with? Please?"

Tobirama's lip twitched as four wide, sad eyes were turned on him.

Haruki had approached the group shyly, hands folded and eyes on the ground. Hanako was busy digging a hole in Tobirama's flower beds and babbling at ladybugs.

"Hmmm. I suppose I could do that," he held up a hand to stop the cheers that immediately erupted at his agreement.  _"But,_ I hope you'll include my friend Haruki in your game. He'll be keeping me company for a day or two and doesn't know anybody here."

The other kids turned curious eyes on the boy, who straightened his back and met their gazes squarely - an Uchiha through and through.

"Isn't he an  _Uchiha?"_ Ruko said and Tobirama's brow furrowed when the children all recoiled and Haruki clenched his fists and looked down at the ground.

"He is." Tobirama sent gave the group of children a stern look. "He's also my friend and the friend of Hashirama-sama. I hope that you will treat him well."

"...Fine," Ruko said and motioned for Haruki to join them in a patch of grass in the yard.

Tobirama relaxed as Haruki brightened and ran to join them in a circle. He created a ball of water, covering it in a layer of chakra so that the exterior ended up looking like smooth glass with swirling liquid inside and sent it sailing gently over to the group.

"Okay," Ruko said in a self-important voice, "This is the Water Ball Game. We throw it back and forth, as fast as we can. If you drop it, you're out. Also, sometimes it'll explode randomly and if you get wet, you're also out."

Tobirama had created the game as a fun way to work on the children's reflexes and hand-eye coordination during one of his shifts teaching the Senju clan children. It had been such a hit that he found himself sometimes inundated by tiny Senjus begging him to make a water ball for them.

Tobirama relaxed back into his work as the children started tossing the ball back and forth. Hanako was diligently working on building a pile of dirt as tall as herself - he'd have to give her a bath that evening - and seemed content enough. After a few minutes, Tobirama made a small gesture and the ball burst into an explosion of water when it was mid-throw. The children shrieked in delight and dove out of the way, all of them ending up just a little wet.

He smirked and created another ball as they groaned at their wet clothes and went back to his work. A few minutes later, he looked over just as Hanako attempted to climb up her dirt pile. Her little feet - now bare, when had she taken off her shoes? - slipped and she ended up tumbling backward into an awkward somersault. Tobirama was already standing and moving towards her when she let out the first wail.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Haruki's head whip towards his sister, concerned. He also saw Ruko, who had just caught the ball, notice his distraction and throw the ball at Haruki with enough force that it would do some serious damage if it connected. Tobirama slashed at the air and the ball dropped to the ground in a splash of water just as Haruki turned back, seeing that his sister was fine, if a bit ruffled.

Tobirama picked her up and soothed her, unbothered by the dirt and snot she was rubbing on him. "Ruko," he said in a calm voice as he noticed the boy edging away. "Wait a moment, please."

Ruko stopped, staring down at his feet in obvious discomfort, as Tobirama calmed Hanako down, taking in her drooping eyelids with a small smile. "Haruki, would you take your sister into the bathroom and get her cleaned up, please? I'll be along momentarily to make you lunch."

Haruki, knowing something had happened but not sure what, slowly took Hanako's hand and led her inside. Tobirama turned to Ruko, noticing that the rest of his group had gotten out while they could.

"Ruko," he said, kneeling down so that the boy was forced to meet his eyes, "Why did you try to hurt Haruki?"

Ruko met his gaze furtively and then looked to the side. "I didn't! It was an accident -"

"Ruko," he snapped. "Do not lie to me."

Ruko went silent and his eyes filled with tears. Tobirama sighed and softened his voice. "Is it because he's an Uchiha?"

Ruko shrugged, then spoke. "Hana-sensei says that Uchiha are bad and that they're going to ruin Konoha."

Tobirama froze but kept his face and body language neutral when he replied. "Oh? Did anybody else say something like that?"

"No, but...some of the other teachers don't like them either, I can tell. And - and my mom said that the Uchiha killed my grandpa."

Tobirama closed his eyes, deciding to set aside the issue of the shinobi in charge of the Senju clan children's education apparently teaching a few things decidedly not in the curriculum for the moment. He needed to address the problem of Ruko, first.

"Our clans were at war for a long time. For every grandfather that was killed on our side, one died on theirs as well. There was a lot of senseless killing, Ruko-kun, which is why Hashirama and Madara decided to create this village and make peace. The Uchiha are a part of Konoha, which means that they are now our kin. There is no Senju, no Uchiha, no Nara or Hyuuga. We are all Konoha shinobi, which means that we must protect them and they must protect us in turn. Do you understand?"

Ruko nodded once, shame obvious in the lines of his face, and Tobirama reached out and ruffled his hair. "We all make mistakes, Ruko-kun. The trick is in not repeating them."

When Tobirama entered the house, he already knew that he'd see Haruki standing next to the door, where he'd been eavesdropping on their conversation. He didn't comment, though, and both of the children ate the sandwiches he made and then settled in for a nap. They spent the afternoon working on Haruki's calligraphy while Hanako scribbled on paper and toddled around being destructive in creative ways that only a two-year-old can manage.

Izuna ended up having dinner with them when he dropped in to check on the children and Tobirama couldn't help but feel amused at how honestly terrified he was of kids. A renowned shinobi of the Uchiha clan and a few children were enough to send him running.

They had returned to the Uchiha compound before dinner and he forced both children to bathe despite Hanako's screaming protests. He then read them a chapter out of a book - something that Madara did every night according to his wards - and tucked them in. He crawled into the guest bed and fell into a light doze, somehow more tired from a day of babysitting than he usually was from a day of helping his brother run Konoha. Not altogether dissimilar tasks, really.

He was awoken in the middle of the night by a small cry and he was up and flashing to Haruki's bedroom door before he was even fully aware. He relaxed when he realized the boy had simply made a sound in his sleep and then frowned when he saw he was having a nightmare. Tobirama padded over to Haruki and sat down next to him on the bed, reaching out to soothe his furrowed brow with a hand.

Haruki whimpered and then opened his eyes. They were wide and terrified in the semi-darkness of the room and after a few moments of darting around, they landed on Tobirama. His lower lip trembled and without prompting he reached down and pulled the boy to him, rubbing his back as he cried quietly into his shoulder.

Eventually, Haruki pulled back, wiping his nose on his sleeve - Tobirama winced at the disgusting habit but didn't comment - and looked down and to the side as he flushed.

"It's fine," Tobirama soothed. "Everybody has nightmares, nothing to be ashamed of."

"I - I dreamt that M-Madara-ojisama died and there were men like the ones that killed mama, and we were all alone and I - I -"

Tobirama pulled him back into a hug, heart twisting in guilt. Wasn't the whole reason they created this village to prevent unneeded deaths? This boy's tears felt like a personal failure.

"Even if something did happen to Madara - which it probably won't, he's very strong - you wouldn't be alone," he finally said in a gentle voice.

Haruki just shrugged, not looking very comforted, and after a moment of thought, Tobirama pulled back from the hug.

"Give me a moment," he said and flashed into his room. He grabbed one of his tagged kunai and used a careful application of a water blade to slice through the metal just below the handle so that only the tagged handle remained. He then returned to the room, where Haruki was wringing his hands, still sitting up in bed.

"You know how to mold chakra?" Haruki nodded.

"Okay," he handed the boy the kunai handle. "If you're ever in trouble, all you need to do is feed your chakra into that and I'll come."

Haruki stared at the handle in his hand. "R-really?"

"Really. It's only for emergencies, though. I don't want to be summoned to your side just because you wanted to show off to your friends."

Haruki hugged the handle to his chest and shook his head frantically. "I won't, I promise I'll only use it if I really, really need to!" 

Tobirama ruffled his hair and Haruki beamed up at him.

"Okay. Now, let's practice feeding chakra into it, hm?"

000

Madara and his brother returned the next morning, having successfully extracted Team Five. If he was surprised by how sad Hanako and Haruki were to see Tobirama go, he didn't say anything, instead giving him a clipped thank you. He had resisted the urge to roll his eyes and gave an equally clipped 'you're welcome' before saying goodbye and teleporting home.

Tobirama spent the next few days catching up on work and tracking down the various shinobi that had a hand in the Senju clan children's education and those that were slated to teach at the Academy when construction was complete. In the end, he wasn't sure which he was more furious about - that some of the sensei had been outright subverting his brother's will with their anti-Uchiha propaganda, or that said propaganda had proven that Madara was  _right._ He knew himself well enough to admit that it was probably the latter that bothered him most.

Four days later, running off of almost no sleep and his righteous fury, he called an impromptu meeting of the clan heads. When they all arrived, Hashirama gave him his patented  _Are You Okay, Because You Kind of Look Like You're Losing It_ look, usually reserved for when he was dealing with Madara. Tobirama ignored him and handed out the packets he'd stayed up putting together late last night for his proposal.

He ignored the raised eyebrows around him and the glowering look Madara was giving him. "I thought we'd already decided on how the administration of the Academy would be set up," Shikari drawled from her seat in the corner.

"Yes, we all voted on it already," Sarutobi unnecessarily clarified.

"It has recently come to my attention," Tobirama said in a cool tone, "that Madara had a valid point in our last budget meeting."

The room went silent and Tobirama ignored Hashirama harder as his eyes began to sparkle with unshed tears of joy.

"Explain," Shikari said, then yawned.

"There does seem to be some prejudice against the Uchiha in a few of our chosen teachers for the Academy. Also, upon review of their curriculum, there is a systematic bias that seems to favor the other clans. In particular, the Senju."

Silence met that proclamation and then Inuzuka Fume spoke. "Alright, so I'm guessing since you're you, there's a plan in here somewhere to fix this cluster."

Tobirama's lips quirked up into a smile. "Indeed. Turn to page four..."

By the end of the meeting, Tobirama was ready to go home and take a nap. They'd completely overhauled the Academy instructor set up so that there was now a required balance of teachers from each clan. The Yamanaka volunteered to put together a test for all prospective Academy teachers that would specifically search for prejudices that were strong enough to affect their teaching style.

Finally, they'd worked out a rotating class schedule so that students would have a chance to be taught under teachers from multiple clans instead of just having one sensei that they stayed with for the entire year. Throughout it all, Madara had been uncharacteristically silent, staring down at the proposal in front of him with an inscrutable expression.

At the end, once the new proposal was edited and approved and everybody was ready to get the hell out of the stuffy meeting room, Hashirama stood.

"I have a thought," he said, vibrating with excitement. "My brother's idea to make all shinobi children feel welcomed and special despite their differences has inspired me."

Tobirama closed his eyes for a moment. "That's not exactly what I -"

"At the end of every year, we should hold an awards ceremony. Instead of only giving out accolades to the students who are at the top academically, we should come up with awards for those who may not be Rookie of the Year or Top Kunoichi, but who have proven themselves to hold other strengths that are also important to Konoha."

Hashirama either ignored or didn't notice the doubtful and annoyed looks he was receiving - probably the latter, since he seemed to be in his own little world as he made a fist and brought it up next to his face to show his passion for his subject. "We can give out ribbons for - for Brightest Smile! Or...Most Improved!"

Madara, unsurprisingly, scoffed. "You want to give out a prize to the stupidest student because they're a little less stupid than when they started out?"

Hashirama deflated into gloom. The meeting ended. Tobirama had just stepped outside of the door when somebody saying his name caused him to slow his steps. He looked over his shoulder and saw Madara approaching, sporting the same inscrutable expression on his face that he'd worn throughout most of the meeting.

"Madara," he greeted.

"Tobirama," he replied, nodding his head and falling into step with him as he headed up the stairs towards his office. After a moment of silence, he spoke. "Haruki told me what happened when he was playing with the Senju children in your compound."

Tobirama hummed, not sure what he was getting at. If he was there to rub the fact that he'd been right in his face, though, Tobirama was going to send him flying out of the window with a well-placed jet of water.

"He told me what you said to the Senju boy, as well. I'm guessing that it's what prompted this little meeting," he continued. Tobirama shrugged and Madara sighed explosively.

"I'm trying to thank you, you stupid Senju. You could at least act like less of a smug asshole about it!" Tobirama gaped when Madara turned and stormed away.

"What did you do to Madara?" Hashirama demanded and Tobirama barely kept himself from jumping at his sudden appearance.

"...I have no idea," he finally grumbled, then stomped into his office and slammed his door, leaving Hashirama looking back and forth between the two of them, face a mask of confusion.

000

Madara left on a mission two days later and Tobirama couldn't help but breath a sigh of relief. He had been unbearable to work with, glaring at Tobirama every chance he got and sniping over every proposal he put forward. It was infuriating and Hashirama had broken up three arguments just before they became violent. Even Izuna looked a little baffled over it.

He refused to feel a little put out that nobody had asked him to watch Hanako and Haruki while Madara was gone. It's not like they didn't have a whole clan of people that could look after them if given enough notice. He pushed any thoughts of the two adorable children from his mind as went about his blissfully Madara-free day, getting more done in ten hours than he'd been able to for two days after Madara had gotten some weird bug up his ass.

He had just fallen asleep when he sensed it - familiar chakra flared in one of his hiraishin seals. He grabbed his sword from where it was leaning next to his bed and a tagged kunai from his nightstand then teleported to the location of the seal. He landed in a room lit only by one lamp, taking in and analyzing the situation in less than a moment.

Hanako and Haruki were cowered in the corner of a small, cozy living room. Furniture was overturned and broken and lying prone on the floor was an Uchiha kunoichi whom he recognized as Maya, one of Izuna's good friends if he was recalling correctly. Standing in the middle of the room were three shinobi - Kumo, by the looks of it - and their attention was focused on the two terrified children. Haruki was staring up at them in defiance, a sobbing Hanako shoved behind him, and the kunai handle Tobirama had given him clutched in one hand.

Tobirama  _moved._ The attackers' eyes went comically wide when they were suddenly faced with  _the_ Senju Tobirama and they scattered as he sent a water scythe at them that was so strong it burst through the windows at the front of the house. That should get the Uchiha guards' attention.

"Haruki, cover your sister's eyes and close your own," he said grimly.

Without waiting to see if the boy listened, he threw his kunai and flashed across the space between him and the first shinobi, landing behind him and running his sword through the man's spine. He repeated the move, barely dodging a jet of lightning that was sent his way, and his blade passed through the neck of the man who'd sent the jutsu before his feet even hit the carpet.

He spun towards the last shinobi, who had just released senbon at the children. Tobirama used the marker on Haruki's kunai handle to teleport in front of them and knocked the senbon from the air. Enraged, he sped through a series of hand signs and leaned back, then jerked forward and opened his mouth. Gallons of water emerged in the shape of a water dragon that sped towards the Kumo nin.

His eyes widened and he shunshined out of the way of its decent and right into the blades of the Uchiha guards, who had indeed come when they heard the ruckus. For a long moment, everything was silent except for Hanako's wailing sobs as the two Uchiha men looked around for other threats.

"There's nobody else," Tobirama said, then moved quickly to Maya's side, checking for her pulse and taking in the nasty wound to her stomach. "She's alive. I'm taking her to the hospital. Bring the children to Izuna-san, tell him what happened and that I'll come to see him once I'm sure Maya-san's injuries are taken care of."

Before they could respond, he carefully picked her up and appeared in the hospital waiting room where he'd left a marker the moment it had been built. The medic on duty was so startled she fell out of her chair.

When Tobirama made it to Izuna's house after ensuring that there was a talented enough medic on duty to handle Mayu's wound without his assistance it was to a stressed out Izuna and two wailing children. He latched onto Tobirama's arm as soon as he opened the door.

"They won't stop," he said, red eyes whirling. He gave Tobirama a little shake. "Make them stop crying!"

With a sigh, he put his hands on Izuna's shoulders and gently pushed him away, then followed the sounds of Hanako's sobs. They made a pitiful sight, that was for sure, with Hanako clinging onto her brother, having worked herself up to a volume that was frankly impressive. Her face was red and blotchy and she was taking in desperate, short breaths of air, on the verge of hyperventilation. Haruki was white and shaking and he was crying silently even as he tried to comfort Haruki.

Tobirama turned one unimpressed, judging look at Izuna and then stalked over to the couch, picking up both of the children and then sitting down, pulling them against him. "There, it's alright, you're safe now," he said in a low, soothing tone. They both clung to him and he rubbed a hand up and down each of their backs while saying random, reassuring things.

Eventually, they both quieted, Hanako into tiny little hiccuping sobs and Haruki into whimpers, before finally dropping into a restless sleep. Izuna was sitting down in a chair, still looking haunted, but now he was studying Tobirama with a calculating expression that never meant good things when it was on an Uchiha.

"You're good with kids," he finally said in a low tone.

"And you're terrible with them. Honestly, would it have been that difficult to hug them?" He asked in a cool tone and Izuna just shrugged.

"They confuse me."

They didn't get a chance to discuss it further because Hashirama had arrived, hair a mess and sleep lines on his face. Tobirama sighed and resigned himself to getting no more sleep that evening.

It turned out Kumo's kage had heard about Uchiha Madara's new wards and decided that it'd be a nice little blow to Konoha to kidnap them for their bloodlines. Hashirama was currently trying to figure out how to keep Madara from going straight to Kumo and destroying their village when he found out. Tobirama wasn't sure that he wouldn't offer his assistance if he did so.

Hanako and Haruki clung to him the next few days and Tobirama didn't have the heart to send them away. Their caretaker would be fine, but she wasn't up to watching two small children for at least a few weeks. Tobirama had simply gone to their house, packed up enough of their things to last for a few days and brought them home with him without bothering to ask anybody if it was okay. Nobody protested. They somehow both made it into his bed at night, despite him insisting they fall asleep on their own. He had to admit they were pretty adorable when they were curled up against him sleeping.

They were sitting in the corner of his office three days after the attack, Haruki slowly reading a children's book to his fascinated sister who kept stopping him to point at pictures and say things like "Pretty puppy!" or "No, is mean!"

Tobirama was reading through a request from the Nara clan for a new medical facility when his door burst open. He didn't bother looking up as he'd already sensed Madara's crackling chakra dashing across Konoha from the front gates, where Tobirama assumed some idiot had told him of the attack, to Hashirama's office. His brother must have then told him where the children were, because a moment later he had raced down the hall, Hashirama only a moment behind him.

The children jumped and looked up, wide-eyed in fear, no doubt expecting another attack until they saw who it was. Madara was standing in the doorway, chest heaving, red eye that was visible under all that hair whirling with emotion. Then the children both jumped to their feet, books and blocks flying.

"Madara-oji!" Haruki said, and Hanako burst into noisy tears.

Tobirama sighed and gave up on any semblance of peace while there were a bunch of emotional Uchiha within thirty feet of him. Madara dropped to his knees and caught them in a hug and Tobirama's chest tightened at the mix of fear, relief, and love on his face. He realized just how much Madara must care for them for him to show so much emotion.

"You're okay," Madara said, voice breaking just a little. "I'm so sorry I wasn't here," he whispered into Haruki's hair, who had his arms wrapped around his neck.

"It - it's okay, Madara-ojisama," Haruki said. "Tobirama-sama saved us. He said he'd come if I was in trouble, and he did!"

Madara looked up at Tobirama, eyes back to their usual black. "So he did," he murmured. "Thank you, Tobirama." He stared at him when he saw that it was sincere and cleared his throat.

"Of course. Anytime," he said a little gruffly, then went back to his paperwork, ignoring Hashirama as he stared at them, hands clasped under his chin and eyes shining in approval.

Tobirama refused to give in to melancholy when he returned to his silent house that evening. He was an independent person, he didn't want or need a family to be happy. He wasn't like his brother. He sat down at his table with a cup of tea and schematics for a proposal for low-income civilian housing and resisted the urge to sigh. There were plenty of orphans out there - maybe Tobirama should consider taking some in. He didn't really need a partner to do that, did he?

Ruefully, he shook his head. He was much too busy to be a single father - he didn't even have the time to spare for a healthy, happy relationship with a grownup according to Sora and, well, every one of his past lovers. His heart belonged first to Konoha and everything else only came a distant second. There just weren't that many people out there that were okay with that.

He ignored the voice that was telling him that Madara, who had actually looked  _human_ earlier that day, was just as devoted to Konoha as Tobirama, yet he seemed to manage just fine. Some people just weren't meant to have the family and white picket fence and it looked like Tobirama was one of them.

000

He was walking through the lunchtime crowds when he heard a familiar voice call his name. He turned and couldn't stop the small smile that fell over his face when he caught sight of Hanako, who was once again sitting on Madara's shoulders. Haruki was at his side, waving frantically. He waited for the little family to make their way over to him.

"Hello Haruki-kun, Hanako-chan. Madara," he said the last with a tilt of his head, which he returned. There was no hostility in the gesture - in fact, he looked cautiously pleased to see him and it was just...weird.

"Hi, Tobirama-sama!" Haruki said, grinning widely, and he was glad to see that they both seemed in good spirits after their ordeal.

"Robi-sam!" Hanako said and he laughed at her butchering of his name. She leaned forward, arms out and hands grasping, in a bid to get him to hold her. He hesitated and glanced at Madara, who gave him a wry smile before reaching up to lift the toddler over his head and into Tobirama's arms. He hugged her to him, breathing in her sweet scent and accepting a sloppy baby kiss. Haruki shuffled up next to him and Tobirama knelt down so that he could also give the boy a hug.

"I'm glad to see you both," he said sincerely, smiling at them, all the while aware of Madara's gaze.

"We're on our way to get dumplings. Are - are you getting lunch too? Maybe you could come with us," Haruki said hesitantly, as though expecting Tobirama to laugh in his face for the suggestion.

"I am out grabbing lunch," he said slowly and glanced up at Madara, who had a neutral expression on his face. "But I wouldn't want to impose on a family outing -"

"No imposition." Madara shrugged awkwardly. "We'd be glad to have you. If you want to come, I mean. If you had other plans, that's fine too," he tacked on, scratching at the back of his neck.

Tobirama studied him before moving his gaze to the children. Haruki was looking at him with naked adoration and hope and Hanako was playing with his hair, seemingly fascinated with it and muttering "Robi-sam hair, Robi-sam hair," to herself over and over.

Decision made, he stood, settling Hanako more securely on his hip. "Alright then, dumplings sound good."

Willingly spending time with Madara was a surreal experience. The waitress actually did a double take before seating them and he knew they were receiving furtive looks from others in the restaurant. It was awkward at first, with the children beaming at them as if unable to quite believe that they got to hang out with both of them at once. Then Haruki launched into a story about how he learned to throw kunai 'really far' that day and Madara's face softened as he hummed.

"Ah, but you're forgetting to tell Tobirama the part where you missed the target and hit one of Elder Chiko's potted plants instead."

Haruki turned bright red and sulked and Tobirama raised an eyebrow, amused. "Oh? And what did Chiko-san think of that, hm?"

Haruki poked at his napkin. "She was pretty mad," he mumbled.

"Understatement." Madara looked so put out that Tobirama leaned forward in sudden interest.

"Oh? I wonder who she was more angry with, the guardian who was letting his young ward sling kunai around next to her plants, or the child?"

Madara's expression said it all and Tobirama leaned back and laughed, unable to hold it in once the vision of a sulking and grumpy Madara being chewed out by an elderly woman while a wide-eyed Haruki looked on popped into his mind. Every time he thought he'd calmed down, he'd catch sight of Madara's affronted expression and mirth would bubble through him again. He calmed down only after forcing himself not to look over at Madara until he got control of his emotions.

When he finally looked up, it was to see that Haruki was beaming at him, happy to see Tobirama happy, and Madara had a small smile on his face as well. "Enjoyed that, did you?"

Tobirama ignored the few shinobi in the restaurant that were outright gaping at them and shrugged. "It  _is_ a funny image."

The rest of the lunch went by without incident and Tobirama couldn't seem to stop his eyes from lingering on the pale column Madara's throat as he leaned over to cut Hanako's dumplings into small bites, or the graceful curve of his smile when Haruki said something he found amusing. After lunch, Tobirama somehow ended up promising to make them dinner the next night when Haruki looked heartbroken that they were parting ways. He realized then that it had finally happened: he, Senju Tobirama, and lost his mind.

He kept expecting the time he spent with Madara and the kids to be a disaster, but somehow it never was. Tobirama realized that they'd finally found the thing they had in common, that granted them both a bit of humanization for the other - they both thought Hanako and Haruki were the best. When Madara was sent out on another mission, Tobirama offered to let the children stay at his place, and they had somehow ended up all having breakfast together and taking a walk to the park when Madara came to pick them up.

Suddenly he had company on his lunch breaks a few times a week in the form of the Uchiha clan head and his two wards. When he saw a carved butterfly that reminded him of Hanako and bought it on a whim, he ended up staying for dinner and board games after delivering it to their house. Before he knew it three months had passed and it had become strange to go more than three days without spending time with Madara, Hanako, and Haruki.

When he ran into trouble with his team on an escort mission and ended up taking a nasty hit to the side, he opened his eyes in the hospital to the sight of Madara dozing in a chair next to his bed, Hanako sprawled across his lap and Haruki curled up at the end of the bed at Tobirama's feet. After a few minutes, Madara felt Tobirama's gaze and opened his eyes.

"You idiot," he said and Tobirama stiffened in offense. "What were you thinking! You should have called for backup as soon as you realized the client lied about the threat level."

It was the quietest tongue lashing Madara had ever given him and for some reason, the sight of him infuriated and being forced to whisper insults at him while cradling a small child made Tobirama's lips quirk up. Of course, this just made him angrier and Tobirama couldn't help but think he looked like an adorable, angry peacock at the way he bristled.

"You think this is  _funny?"_ he hissed. "The children overheard that you'd been injured from a shinobi that was walking by. They were terrified!"

Tobirama sobered as he took in Hanako's tear stained cheeks and the almost desperate way Haruki clung to his leg. Madara's clothes were rumpled and his hair looked a little less feather chic and more drooping flower than usual.

"You're right," he said, cutting into Madara's rant about arrogant Senju who thought they could handle anything - and no, the irony of Madara of all people saying that wasn't lost on him.

Madara gaped at him, mouth opening and closing like a beached fish trying to breathe before he managed to say, "I am?" Then, with more confidence, "Of course I am."

"I'm sorry I worried you," Tobirama continued. He watched in fascination while Madara's cheeks turned pink and he sputtered in indignation.

"I wasn't - I didn't - the children!" he said incoherently and Tobirama settled back and closed his eyes while Madara continued to try and fail to put a sentence together, something that felt a lot like happiness moving through him and lulling him into a peaceful slumber.

Tobirama recovered from his injury just in time for the summer festival. Haruki and Hanako, who was now speaking in almost full sentences, were beyond excited and Madara had asked him to go with them in the grumpiest way possible.

"If you don't come with us, Haruki and Hanako will be really annoying about it," he grumbled and Tobirama was charmed by the way Madara stared at a spot on the wall behind him and did his best to pretend he wasn't blushing.

"I look forward to it," Tobirama said, doing some pretending of his own and ignoring his brother, who was standing in the doorway of his office, body contorting in his joy as tears filled his eyes and he gave Tobirama a thumbs up.

The four of them were currently waiting in line for cotton candy, Tobirama trying and failing not to be distracted by the way Madara's skin seemed to glow against the red of his kimono, which also had the unfortunate side effect of making his lips look even more cherry red than usual, when he noticed that he was glowering at something over Tobirama's shoulder.

Curious, he turned his body to the side casually and glanced over, then did a double-take when he saw that the person receiving the Uchiha Death Stare was Hyuuga Sora. He was wearing a light blue kimono that Tobirama had once told him made him look ethereal (Sora had later ridden him slowly while wearing the kimono - and  _only_ the kimono) and was on the arm of another man. He also kept sending Tobirama furtive glances and when he noticed him looking, he lowered his chin and then looked up at him through his lashes, a come-hither look that used to work just about every time on Tobirama.

Now he felt nothing more than a small tug in his navel at the memories of exactly how good their sex life had been before Sora left. He turned away, glancing over at Madara, who was fuming beside him. Tobirama silently paid for cotton candy for all of them and his lip twitched when Madara took a large, angry bite of the fluffy pink treat.

"Everything okay?" He asked in a mild tone and Madara twitched.

"Yes," he said petulantly. Tobirama just hummed and they didn't speak again until after they'd finished their food and cleaned up the children with a judicious use of wet wipes.

"Somebody's trying to get your attention," Madara pointed out in an irritated voice from where they were watching Haruki and Hanako ride on a small pony being led around by a bored-looking genin. Tobirama once again followed his gaze and sighed when Sora casually glanced away from him.

"Well, he doesn't have it," Tobirama said calmly and Madara  _humphed_ but relaxed. "Why does it bother you anyway?"

Madara immediately stiffened and his eyes went shifty. "It - it doesn't! It's just. Well, he doesn't have a right to try and get you back," he blustered. "You were upset when he left you. Why is he suddenly trying to gain your favor now?"

Tobirama turned and looked at Madara, who was glaring off to the side in annoyance and embarrassment. He wondered how Madara had even been able to tell Tobirama had been out of sorts following the breakup. He was generally a hard person to read, according to just about everybody.

"He said I was emotionally unavailable and didn't spend enough time at home," he blurted, and immediately wished he could take it back. It was the first time he'd told anybody why they'd broken up. He was fairly certain Sora hadn't spoken of it either, considering he was a Hyuuga and they were notoriously closed-mouthed. Madara took a moment to absorb that and then snickered.

Tobirama frowned and took a step away, feeling stupid for revealing something so personal. Madara reached out and grabbed his arm. "No, I'm not laughing because I agree. I'm laughing because he's an idiot. Emotionally unavailable? You? You might be pragmatic, hard to read and way too obsessed with organization, but you are not a man without emotion. Just look at how you are with Hanako and Haruki. You're one of the most emotionally present men I know - you just have to have a brain bigger than a thimble to see it, " he finished the last few sentences in a mumbled rush, as though embarrassed he had even said it. His hand was warm on Tobirama's forearm and his words made Tobirama's breath catch in this throat.

"...I spend a lot of time at work," he challenged and then wondered why he'd done it. What did he want Madara to prove, anyway?

Madara turned his head and looked at him, his hair falling lightly against his cheek when he tilted his head and gave Tobirama a soft smile. "You're loyal and you love your village. Those are both good things. What matters is that you're present when you are home."

Tobirama stared at him, then, before he could change his mind he shifted his arm up, forcing Madara's hand to slide down his sleeve until he could grab it and tangle their fingers together.

"Yes, I suppose you're right," he said in a steady tone, then turned to wave at Hanako with his free hand when she called his name, ignoring Madara's floored expression and the double takes they were receiving around them. Madara didn't pull away once that night and that's all that mattered.

When they got to Madara's home, each carrying a sleeping and drooling child, they made their way to the back of the house and gently removed the dirty and sticky kimonos from their tiny, grumbling bodies and put them to bed. When Tobirama stepped into the kitchen, Madara was setting a cup of tea out for him and watching him with steady eyes. Tobirama looked at the tea on the table, then at Madara, who was leaning against the counter, his own tea steaming gently next to him.

Tobirama strode past the mug and towards Madara, whose eyes widened when Tobirama pushed up into his space. Slowly, so that he could pull away if he wanted, Tobirama leaned up and brushed their lips together. Madara stood frozen and stiff and with a sigh, Tobirama went to take a step back, disappointment churning in his gut and an apology on his lips.

Before he could voice it, though, two hands gripped his hips and reeled him back in and a pair of firm lips pressed against his. Tobirama groaned, arms going around Madara's neck so he could bury his hands in his thick, soft hair. Madara made a content noise deep in his throat and then his tongue was entering Tobirama's mouth and all rational thought flew from his mind.

Madara kissed like he did everything else - aggressively and with a single-minded focus that ended in him inevitably being amazing at it. One hand was at the small of Tobirama's back pulling him against him so that their bodies pressed firmly together. The other cupped his jaw, directing the angle of their kiss. At some point they started making their way towards the bedroom, both still just aware enough to try and keep their moans and gasps quiet. The last thing either of them wanted was to wake the children.

When the bedroom door was finally closed behind them, their kimonos were pulled off almost frantically. Tobirama pulled back to take in the expanse of Madara's pale skin, scarred heavily in places but still gorgeous. Especially when contrasted against his long, spiky dark hair. His lips were red and swollen, shiny with spit, his dark eyes focused on Tobirama's own body. Tobirama felt a shiver crawl up his spine as he took in the erection jutting proudly from a bed of dark curls. He reached out and ran his fingers across the top of it, licking lips when it jumped in response.

Madara made a low sound that had Tobirama's whole body flushing and then they were kissing again, hands running over skin until Tobirama was falling backward onto the large bed. He scooted back until his head was on the pillows and stretched languorously when he saw Madara's eyes taking him in, Sharingan whirling red.

"Can I -" he asked in a low, rough voice that had Tobirama somehow hardening even more and his balls tightening in response.

"Yes," he said, voice just as wrecked. "Please."

Madara crawled up the bed, caging him in with his arms and legs before leaning down to kiss him softly. "I'll explore you later," he growled out before reaching over to fumble at his bedside drawer. "Right now I just need -"

"Yes," Tobirama said again when Madara's hand returned with a small jar. He prepped Tobirama slowly and with care despite his obvious impatience, running his lips up and down the side of his neck and nibbling on his ear before coming back for a deep kiss.

An indeterminate amount of time later he had three fingers in Tobirama and was rubbing lightly over his prostate, making Tobirama arch and squirm. "I'm ready. Now, Madara, do it now or I swear -"

He didn't need to ask twice. Madara removed his fingers and rubbed some of the extra oil onto his erection before lining it up at Tobirama's entrance. They made eye contact as he slowly pushed in and Tobirama gasped for air.

The stretch was painful after so long - Sora had preferred not to top, so Tobirama hadn't been fucked in...well, over a year at least. It was also perfect, and he wrapped his legs around Madara and arched against him, desperately trying to speed up the process. Madara put two firm hands on his hips to stop him, squeezing his eyes shut and putting his forehead against Tobirama's.

"Don't - I don't want to hurt you," he rasped. Tobirama scoffed and tightened his muscles, smirking when Madara moaned and jerked forward half an inch.

He turned his head so he could whisper directly into Madara's ear. "You won't hurt me." He then nipped at the sensitive shell and Madara's control broke.

Madara placed his hands on either side of Tobirama's head and pushed himself up so he was hovering over him. He pushed the rest of the way in with a powerful thrust, smirking when Tobirama's mouth fell open on a soundless moan. He didn't wait for him to adjust, pulling halfway out and pushing back in, groaning as he did so.

"You're so gorgeous," Madara said, moving into a hard rhythm that had Tobirama's toes curling in pleasure. After a few minutes, he leaned back and sat on his heels, lifting Tobirama with him and settling him firmly into his lap. "I want you to ride me," he said and Tobirama shivered at how low his voice was.

He lifted himself up, rolling his hips, fascinated with the way Madara's eyelashes fluttered across his cheek when he closed his eyes in pleasure. His hands were still on Tobirama's hips, guiding him in a fast tempo that had them both breathing hard and their skin turning sticky with sweat. His head was thrown back and Tobirama bent down to latch onto his throat, biting down and then soothing over the spot with his tongue.

The change in angle had Madara's cock dragging across his prostate and he moaned. He straightened and did it again and again until he was tightening around Madara, who was encouraging him to move faster in a low voice.

Tobirama grasped his erection, unable to stand the building pressure any longer, and only had to pump it a handful of times before he was coming, his back bowed back in a long line and gasping Madara's name. Then, he was being flipped onto his back and Madara was pushing his legs up and open with arms looped behind his thighs, pistoning in and out of him, now-black eyes focused on his face, mouth slack with pleasure and hair falling over his shoulders in a long curtain.

When he came, it was with a low groan of Tobirama's name. Finally, he slumped over, and Tobirama stretched out his legs with a sigh of relief before wrapping his arms around Madara. He ran his hands up and down his back, feeling more relaxed and happy then he had in...well, ever, probably.

They woke up sticky and uncomfortable, but there were no awkward silences or 'so about last night...' conversations. Instead, they showered, got the children up and fed and off to their Uchiha caretaker, and headed into work like it was any other day. Madara brushed a hand across the small of his back when they separated at Hashirama's office door and that was that. Tobirama started spending most nights at Madara's house, becoming a fixture in the Uchiha district. They never had a conversation about their relationship which, in retrospect, was probably a mistake.

It was late fall, moving into winter, and they were at yet another budget meeting. Tobirama was tuning Sarutobi Mishki out and remembering the way Madara had woken him up with a blowjob and then proceeded to ride him into the mattress that morning.

"Just to clarify, the winter squash count is  _above_ the threshold we set last year, yes?" Mishki said and Madara met his gaze and raised an eyebrow when Hashirama patiently confirmed that they wouldn't run out of butternut squash that year. Tobirama's lips twitched and he fought a smile.

Then, Hashirama was once again talking about the Most Improved and Best Smile awards, prompting Madara to lose his temper and Hashirama to pout. Just another budget meeting.

About fifteen minutes later, Madara slammed a packet down. "This proposal is shit, Senju," he snapped and for a moment Tobirama thought he was talking to Hashirama. But...no, that was Tobirama's civilian taxation proposal.

"Oh?" He said, voice cold and eyes narrowed. "What's so bad about it, hmm?"

"What's so badabout it is the extremely low property taxes in the civilian sectors. Why should they pay less than the shinobi who protect their village?"

Tobirama just raised an imperious eyebrow, though inside he was seething. "Well, possibly because civilians have a less steady income and pay more for basic living expenses that are covered for shinobi, such as medical care and -"

Madara scoffed. "Please, like they  _need_ the same amount of medical care shinobi do. This is just another example of you bleeding heart Senju not expecting civilians to do their parts."

Tobirama leaned forward, temper flaring, and Hashirama stood up, laughing loudly at nothing. "Well, look at that, we're out of time!"

Tobirama gathered his materials with small, efficient movements, completely ignoring the whole side of the room that Madara was on. Apparently sleeping with the man didn't make him any less of a socially inept asshole.

"Tobirama-sama," a soft voice said and a light touch to his arm had him looking over into the pretty face of Yamanaka Haku, assistant to the Yamanaka clan head and a man who was as gorgeous as he was vapid. He had been hitting on Tobirama in increasingly blatant ways since September, much to Madara's rage. From the corner of his eye, he saw Madara bristle and held back a smirk.

Instead of smoothly stepping out from under Haku's touch like he usually would, he instead turned attentive eyes towards him. "Yes, Haku-san, what can I do for you?"

"I just wanted to let you know, that I thought the proposal for the civilian tax rates was really well thought out," he said with an earnestness that grated on Tobirama's nerves.

He inclined his head and quirked his lip up, not missing the way the room became heavy with a small amount of killing intent coming from where Hashirama was desperately trying to pull Madara's attention away from Tobirama. "Thank you, Haku-san, it's nice to know that somebody appreciates the thought I put into my proposals."

He blushed prettily and bit his lip and Tobirama let his eyes linger on it just long enough for Madara's no doubt swirling-in-rage Sharingan to catch before he put on his most dismissive-but-polite smile and stepped away. No reason to actually lead the man on, after all. "Well, Haku-san, I have a lot of work to complete," he said, talking over his attempt to stutter out a request to go to lunch together.

He then turned and swept out of the room, aware of the mass of roiling Uchiha chakra stalking behind him but choosing to blatantly ignore it. He entered his office and walked to his desk, setting down his scrolls and files carefully before turning to the door, raising an eyebrow at the stormy face of one Uchiha Madara.

"Yes?" he said in a cool tone and wasn't surprised when Madara stomped in and slammed the door shut behind him. He  _was_ surprised, however, when he stalked across the room, expression darkening the closer he got to Tobirama, instead of breaking out into a yelling, ranting, incoherent fit.

"Thought that was funny, did you?" he said in a low voice and Tobirama forced himself to remain where he was, the superior expression that he knew Madara hated firmly in place.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he settled on. Not exactly original, but it worked.

"You and I both know he couldn't do for you what  _I_ do," Madara purred, aura still dangerous.

Tobirama scoffed. "Oh, and what's tha -" Madara cut him off by slamming their lips together. Tobirama didn't bother trying to push him away - he'd been hard since Madara shut the door, after all. Instead, he returned the kiss with equal aggression, twisting his hands in Madara's shirt and shoving his tongue into his mouth without finesse.

Madara reached down and fumbled open Tobirama's pants, fisting his cock in his hand once he freed it and moving into a rough rhythm that immediately had him up on his toes, head flung back and hand wrapped loosely around Madara's wrist, more to ground him than to stop what he was doing. Madara had leaned forward and bitten down on his neck - hard - and Tobirama couldn't stop the long, low moan he let out in response.

Of course, that's when Hashirama opened the door. He let out a high pitched scream and put a hand to his heart as he staggered back out into the hall. Madara jumped away from Tobirama as if scalded and they heard a thump as Hashirama hit the wall on the other side of the hallway.

Tobirama fumbled to put his clothes back into place while Madara groaned over the shit-show they both knew was coming. They moved into the hallway, where Hashirama was slumped against the wall, knees pulled up to his chest and looking deeply traumatized. People continued past him as though nothing was happening, used to their Hokage's dramatic breakdowns by now.

"Brother, have you never heard of  _knocking?"_ Tobirama hissed, mortified.

"My - my sweet baby brother," he groaned. "He's been violated."

"Please, he was being violated long before I came along," Madara grumped, arms crossed petulantly.

Hashirama let out a screech of rage and Madara barely dodged out of the way as a spire of wood slammed into the spot he'd been standing.

"For God's sake, Hashirama," Tobirama groaned and looked up at the ceiling, sighing as another spear of wood passed by his head so close that his hair rippled with it, followed by a crash and Madara's indignant yelling.

"You idiot! Are you trying to kill me?"

"Yes! How dare you! I won't let you break Tobi's heart like all those other men!" Tobirama closed his eyes and hung his head when a few people stuck their heads out of their offices in interest at that declaration.

Madara let out an unmanly scream when Hashirama tackled him and put his hands around his throat, face crazed. "Not until marriage! Never again! The next time a man wants to touch my brother he'll have to buy the whole cow first!" Apparently, Hashirama had stronger feelings than Tobirama had realized over Sora breaking up with him.

Tobirama stalked over to Hashirama and plucked his brother from the top of his lover. Madara took a great, dramatic gulp of air, scrambling until he was sitting up and leaning his weight back on one hand.

"No!" Hashirama yelled, struggling against Tobirama's hold.

"What happened to all that talk about not killing Madara?"

"I've changed my mind." He pointed at Madara and his dramatic tears made an appearance. "You! If you want to touch my brother, you'll have to put a ring on it first!"

Tobirama opened his mouth to snap something at Hashirama but ended up dropping him in shock instead when Madara spoke. "Fine."

Hashirama and Tobirama both froze, mouths open in identical expressions of disbelief. After a long, drawn-out moment of silence in which Madara looked around furtively like he was contemplating diving out the window, Hashirama spoke. "Fine as in...?"

"Fine as in, I'll marry your brother, alright?" Hashirama let out a squeal and dove at Madara.

"Madara! Finally, we'll be true brothers now!" Madara sighed and held out a hand, stopping Hashirama before he could embrace him with a palm to the forehead.

"Why?" Tobirama finally pulled himself together enough to say. His voice and face were calm, but his pulse was racing and something that felt like hope was growing in his chest.

Madara gaped at him. "What - what do you mean, why?"

"I mean, why do you want to marry me?" Everyone around them seemed to be holding their breath, including Hashirama, who had stopped his struggles and was staring at Madara with wide eyes, trying to communicate something to him.

"I - well, I mean, isn't it obvious?" Madara said, looking flustered and annoyed as a result of being flustered.

"Obviously not." Tobirama raised an eyebrow at Madara, crossing his arms over his chest.

His heart dropped when Madara's mouth opened and closed a few times. "I - well. You. You're good with the kids!" he said, looking proud and then confused when Hashirama slumped and groaned out "No, you idiot!"

"And - and you're strong." Hashirama was shaking his head frantically and moving his hands in a slicing motion in front of his neck in a clear bid for him to  _shut up._

Of course, Madara wouldn't be Madara if he didn't take it the extra mile. "Also, you're attractive," he finished lamely.

Tobirama stared at him, swallowing past his disappointment. "So...you want to marry me because I make a pretty nanny slash bodyguard for your children," he deadpanned. Madara's visible eye widened in alarm. "Well, as flattering as that is," he continued in an icy tone, ignoring the faces gaping at him from where they were hanging out of their offices, "I'm afraid I'll have to decline."

"No," he heard Hashirama groan just before he teleported back to his house.

Tobirama spent the next month avoiding Madara, avoiding Hashirama, working long hours, taking more missions than was probably wise, and avoiding, well, everybody. Madara because he ended up staring at Tobirama with an intensity that was disconcerting and constantly moving as if to speak to him before apparently losing his nerve and slumping over into a glowering pout.

Hashirama because he had come up with a new and improved version of his  _Give Madara a Chance_ speech which now included a long-winded section on his lack of communication skills. Apparently, Madara had been stomping around terrorizing just about everybody since the Great Proposal, as people were laughingly calling it when they thought Tobirama couldn't hear them.

He took to having lunch with the children when he knew they were with one of their Uchiha caretakers (and therefore not with Madara), though it involved ignoring Maya's knowing looks. Haruki kept asking when he was going to 'come home,' and it was like a twist of the knife every time.

The Academy was set to open in six weeks and Tobirama was busy meeting with each of the instructors to go over their planned curriculum. He had ended up offering Sora the position of Director, since he was used to both administrative tasks as a branch member of his clan and was an accomplished teacher. He was vaguely aware of the rumor going around that they were back together due to the number of working lunches they'd been taking, but mostly dismissed them as unimportant.

Sora seemed to have gotten over whatever urge he'd been feeling at the summer festival to get back together and remained professional and friendly. They got along surprisingly well for being exes, especially since he never sent Tobirama those pitying looks that people seemed to always wear around him lately.

He was  _fine,_ he didn't know why everybody was so worried. So the man he'd fallen in love with had only dated him because he was good with his kids and nice to look at. It wasn't the end of the world. Just the end of his sleep and the contentment he'd maybe gotten used to feeling almost every morning when he woke up with Madara by his side and two kids he adored down the hall.

"I just think that we shouldn't be so harsh with our punishments at that age," Sora said, tapping a pen against the table. They were currently going through the most recent draft of the student handbook.

"They need to learn young," Tobirama argued. "It's not because we're trying to be harsh, it's-" He was distracted when a familiar chakra signature entered the restaurant. He'd felt it approaching but had assumed it would keep going by as its owner continued on his way. Come to think of it, he'd passed by just a few minutes ago, slowing for a moment before speeding past. So why...?

Without his permission, Tobirama's body turned towards the door and he gaped when he saw Uchiha Madara standing there, expression murderous and...a bouquet of roses in one hand. The other was holding a small, wooden box and his eyes were focused on Tobirama. He narrowed them, then stalked across the room, apparently unconcerned with the attention he was garnering.

Tobirama stood warily. "Madara, what -"

"Here," he said and shoved the roses into Tobirama's chest, sending a few petals fluttering to the ground, until he was forced to take hold of them. He seemed to be aggressively ignoring Sora, who was watching the scene in front of him with an elegantly raised brow.

"Stop dating Sora. Be with me instead," Madara said in a stilted, brazen tone. "I mean. Marry me."

Tobirama raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "You cannot be having that hard of a time finding a new nanny." A few nervous titters met his proclamation. Madara glowered, then took a deep breath and dropped to one knee, opening the box and revealing a gleaming, simple gold band.

"I'm an idiot, okay?" He grumbled. "That stuff I said before...it's not why I want to marry you." He paused and his face contorted into an expression that made him look constipated.

"So..." Sora prompted, "why  _do_ you want to marry Tobi?"

Madara turned his glare on him and if he were a cat Tobirama was pretty sure he would have hissed. He jerked his attention back to Tobirama when he cleared his throat pointedly. Staring down at the ruffled, pissed off man, he was hit with a wave of happiness so great that it actually pushed the breath from his lungs. Of course, this idiot would mess up his proposal so spectacularly - twice. Tobirama knew what he was going to say before it passed his lips and felt like the worst case of moron for not seeing it before.

"Because I love you," Madara mumbled.

Tobirama pressed his lips together to keep from laughing. "What was that?" he asked and Madara took a deep breath.

"Because I love you, okay?" he shouted and shoved the ring forward while looking off to the side, cheeks red and scowl firmly in place.

"That," Tobirama drawled, setting the roses gently on the table and taking a step forward, "is the second-worst marriage proposal I have ever heard." Madara's eyes darted to him and his shoulders slumped. "You interrupted what you assumed was a date with somebody else, attacked me with flowers, and yelled your proposal at me. Horrible." Madara was starting to resemble a sad, kicked kitten who was in dire need of a grooming.

"Of course, the first worst proposal I've ever heard was also done by you," he continued. "So at least there's been some level of progression."

Madara looked down at the ground, but didn't speak. "Actually, I think that you deserve an award," Tobirama declared, "for Most Improved."

Madara's head whipped up and he stared at Tobirama in affront, most likely remembering his own words about the folly of giving idiot children prizes for being less of an idiot than they were at the beginning of the school year.

Tobirama raised his eyebrows. "Well, don't you want to know what your prize is?"

"I - I don't want some stupid ribbon!" he exploded and jumped to his feet. "If you're going to say no, then just do it Senj-"

Tobirama cut him off by kissing him. It was a little awkward, since Madara's mouth was open mid-yell and he ended up kissing his teeth, but it did his job and shut him up. He leaned back and took in his flabbergasted expression.

"Idiot. Your prize is me."

Madara took a full three seconds to process his words before understanding hit. "You mean - yes?" His voice full of a painful sort of hope.

Tobirama rolled his eyes. "Obviously. I love you too, you know."

Madara stared at him stupidly and Tobirama pinched his brow when he realized exactly what he was signing himself up for. "Well, put the ring on me."

The restaurant erupted into cheers when Madara slipped the ring onto his finger, expression now smug and superior.

"Thank god," Madara said, pulling him in and wrapping his arms around him. "I was so miserable, you have no idea."

"Oh, I think I have an inkling," Tobirama muttered.

Madara pulled back and Tobirama huffed at his self-satisfied countenance. He leaned forward and kissed him again, deciding it was the only way to wipe that ridiculous expression off his face.

000

"By the way," he said casually as they were walking back to the tower together later that day, "I found a notebook titled 'Tobirama's and Madara's Dream Wedding' in Hashirama's secret drawer that he doesn't realize is no longer a secret."

Madara tripped over nothing.

"It involves both of us dressed in white singing a love ballad and staring deeply into each other's eyes before the ceremony even begins. And doves. Many, many doves."

"No," Madara breathed in horror.

"Oh yes," Tobirama confirmed, deciding not to mention that Hashirama was speeding towards their location, probably having just heard the news of their engagement. "He even wrote our vows for us."

Madara turned to him and took his hands in his own. "Tobirama, I think we should elope," he said earnestly.

Hashirama's enraged scream could be heard from ten blocks away.

**Author's Note:**

> Look at me, writing something that's under 20K words. PERSONAL GROWTH


End file.
